Never Too Late to Become A Good Dad

Sitting in the gym at Tucker Prison, I'm amazed at what I'm seeing just a few feet away. An inmate with shaved head is holding his eight week old grandchild in his tattooed arms... and smiling from ear to ear. Over the past few years of visiting my brother in prison, this other inmate has become casual friends with Mother and me. It doesn't take much to imagine him as one bad dude. But that was then.

If not for his ever preset smile, he'd be an intimidating guy. But, these days he's almost always smiling. He's not the guy who got sentenced to prison years ago. My brother and this friend are both involved in the Kairos ministry at the prison. While there are a lot of guys who go to various prison ministries, I get a sense that this guy is different. His smile isn't fake. It comes up from his toes. The change is real.

I once asked my brother what our friend was in for. "Let's just say he had anger issues" was the reply. But, that was then. This is now.

Our friend got married a year or so ago. Yes, he got married while in prison. His wife visits every weekend and his daughter comes fairly often as well. Showing off her newborn baby, they were all smiles- our friend, his wife, his daughter, his pre-school aged grand-daughter and the newest addition to the family... an eight week old sleeping beauty. I don't know when he'll get out but have a feeling he'll be quite a different daddy than when he went in.

That gets me thinking about my own father. While he was never sent to prison, he wasn't a perfect dad either. Mother and Dad never had a happy marriage. As he put it, "We had a pretty good marriage 'til Tuesday." They had just gotten married on Saturday. Years later, both of them admitted that even while on their honeymoon they realized they had made a mistake. Dad tried to make it work. Both of them did. But on the eve of their 19th anniversary, he couldn't take it anymore. He literally "ran away from home" at the age of 42.

Dad dropped the ball as a provider, husband, father and anything else. It took a few years but he rebuilt his life and worked hard to make up for lost time. No, he never asked to get back with Mother but he did try to make amends for walking out on her.

I've never been a dad but I have tasted my share of failure. I've been at that point where I didn't know how I'd ever recover from the low places. But I have learned that as long as there is breath in a chest, there really is hope for change. It won't come overnight, but it can come. Just get ready for slow progress. And lots of time on your knees.