Wanted: Christian Nudists!

Picture a small group of believers, all regular attendees of an accountability group, seated in the leader's living room. Some are old, some are young. Two are on the couch, one on the piano bench and a few in some chairs pulled in from the dining room. They have gathered together like they've done countless times before. They like each other. They trust each other. Now imagine the looks of shock and nervousness when the leader says “This week, I'd like for us to try a new group exercise. I want everyone to stand up and get undressed. Yes, we're going to become Christian nudists! Now remember, no pointing or giggling! We're ALL going to get naked together. Charlie, lock the door! Nobody is going to wimp out on us!”

At that point, the leader stands up, starts to undo a few buttons and stops everybody before it gets out of hand. “No, I'm not talking about being naked physically. I'm talking about choosing to be naked spiritually.”

And all of God's people said: “Whew!”

Right before my second marriage blew up in my face, I told my then wife I'd rather be intimate with her spiritually than physically. Our relationship of the heart, both emotional and spiritual, meant everything to me and I felt she had ruled me out. Then again, did she ever let me in from the start? It dawned on me that she couldn't handle spiritual intimacy. Scared the hell out of her!

This is the woman who chewed me out for asking God to heal our marriage. We were on our third marriage counselor and were praying alone in the bedroom, just the two of us sitting on the side of the bed. She never really liked praying together. Meanwhile, my nickname to some back in high school was Camel Knees as I was always asking friends to stop, drop and pray together. There was more praying than kissing going on in the back of my Ford hippie van!

Back to praying with my wife, after we ended with the prerequisite “in your name we pray, amen” closing, she told me in no uncertain terms that I should take up any issues about our marriage difficulties with God on my own time. Not with her. What? Yep, I was informed that I shouldn't ask for our Father to heal our marriage while praying with her. I told her that I really believe that 'two or more gathered' stuff. Didn't matter. I guess she was trying to keep our hellish marriage a secret from Him. Hate to break it to her, but it hadn't slipped past His gaze.

The more I thought about it, I realized she was fairly comfortable in physical intimacy. I was probably more of a prude due to my inexperience. She was moderately comfortable with emotional intimacy. And not very comfortable at all with spiritual intimacy. Why not? I contend she wasn't comfortable being naked before the Lord, before herself or before anyone else.

By being 'spiritually naked' I'm talking about laying your heart bare before Him to accept you as you are, where you are and for who you are. Easier said than done. I don't think she was that open within herself. And for sure, she wasn't open with me or others. She didn't have many long term friends. Lots of acquaintances. Few really close friends. I don't know if she could get “real” with anyone. Maybe at first, but not after there was any failure on the other person's fault. Seems it was a family trait. You're wonderful until you're not. And no in between.

So, what is so scary about being naked spiritually? First off, it means facing your own stuff. It means not turning away from areas that aren't so pretty. It means no more hiding from anything. It's all laid out bare right in front of you. And the Lord.

Don't get me wrong, my wife had some really beautiful sides to her. Physically, she was a knockout. Those eyes... absolutely stunning. And emotionally, she was creative and kind, always serving someone. Even on some levels, she was solid spiritually. She knew the Word. She was a faithful church member. Good stuff. But surface stuff. I don't remember her getting very deep or intimate with me or anyone else regarding spiritual matters. She knew stuff but I don't know if she owned any of it. There's a difference.

As she wasn't comfortable being spiritually naked with herself, she surely wasn't comfortable with me, her most definitely flawed husband. Being spiritually naked demands we face the question of forgiveness. No one has perfection. We all have areas that don't look nearly as good without a nice layer of clothing to protect us. But, being naked means seeing both the good and the bad. And about that bad... God's forgiveness is pretty much set. We are comfortable with that and we ask those blanket “forgive me Lord” type prayers on a regular basis. Yawn. (Note: I think God wants us to go a lot deeper than making a list and checking it twice). But, what about forgiving that flawed husband when he dropped the ball? What about forgiving herself for when she dropped the ball? This is different. You can't get comfortable being naked unless you know how to walk in forgiveness and with tons of grace. Toward yourself as well as toward others.

But what do you do with these not-so-pretty areas we find? Ignore them and shut the door to real intimacy? Or harden your heart, refusing to forgive, refusing to look at it any more? I'm talking about to yourself as well as to others. It's a tough one.

In talking with a friend about this, I mentioned that my ex could get unclothed spiritually. She could take off her blouse and pants. But, it was like she never took off her bra and panties. Shame. Pride. I'm sure I didn't do a great job of creating a safe atmosphere, either. It all added up to us keeping the most private parts hidden. And that prevented real peace from being any sort of foundation. It was a big barrier in taking our relationship from mediocre to beyond measure.

I contend that God wants us all to be spiritual nudists. I believe He wants us to choose to be naked with each other as members of the body of Christ.

Thinking back to various Sunday school classes (now given catchy names like Life Groups and others), small groups and other places where folks gather together in Jesus' name for some really close fellowship, how far did they go toward getting undressed in front of the others? In my minds eye, I visualize Christians I've known, sitting in a circle and sharing from the heart. I can see some folks parked in their chair with a full hazmat suit complete with gauntlet gloves, full face respirator and a lifeline hooked to their five point body harness in case they needed to get pulled out of a tight situation. No bare skin is visible anywhere! Others are sitting there with a heavy overcoat suitable for the Yukon even though it's 75 degrees in the room. I can see others who look really great in their three piece suits, perfect hair and nicely trimmed nails. You only see what they want you to see, and it's probably had some work done on it. Can you say “elective surgery” as in augmentations, nips, tucks and other modifications? And I see a few who have chosen to take off their shirts but are still in shorts. Better, but not completely there.

As a ragamuffin, I've gotten fairly comfortable with my own spiritual nakedness. When you've kissed pavement for a while, almost being mistaken for roadkill (it's not a dead armadillo...it's possum on the half shell!), it's not difficult at all baring your heart in the right setting. When you've pretty well lost everything, there really isn't much left to hide. No time for shame.

And I think that's where God wants us. Nothing left to hide. That goes for our relationship with Him. It goes for us getting real with ourselves. And for sure, it goes for our relationships with others.

I contend that we should be careful with our new found Christian nudism experience. Unfortunately, just because a person is at a church, it doesn't mean they are family nor that they should be trusted with something so sensitive as your complete vulnerability. I don't feel we should let it all hang out with anyone and everyone. That's just dumb. But, I do believe we are not going as far as He calls us when it comes to being completely open and real and vulnerable with each other as parts of the same body of Christ.

I think this is what being accountable is all about. It's what real, true fellowship is all about. And I think it's at this point where the Holy Spirit longs to take us as believers.

Just think for a moment about how nice it would feel to be free of all encumbrances. Free from anything holding us back. Free to just be. Nothing to hide. Open and honest. Authentic. And accepted. Sounds tempting, doesn't it?